"Kings soon perish who make a habit of justifying their actions to the people by saying, 'I have the power,' rather than, 'It is my duty.'" Musonius
When people criticize a king's behavior, they usually can't fathom that they, too, might have done the same if given similar circumstances. For some people, they don't engage in debauchery not because they have the proper character but because they simply do not have the opportunity. However, that does not justify a king for being lax with his standard of conduct. If he doesn't have self-control, how could he effectively pass laws and direct the people to have self-control? Furthermore, if he doesn't know how to have self-control, he cannot demonstrate to the people that it is possible to acquire self-control, that it is natural and expected, and thus reap one of the main benefits of leadership: influence.
How can you gain leadership? By following philosophy. In this case, you must be a good follower before you can be a good leader. With philosophy, you understand justice and treat everyone fairly, which is a mark of sound leadership. Everyone agrees with each other on what is black or white, hot or cold, hard or soft. But in more complicated matters, some people without the insight of philosophy will disagree, and so it is an issue of ignorance. Do not automatically think you are free from such ignorance. You will need philosophy and to train with rigor to ensure you can make wise leadership decisions that indeed promote justice and fairness.
Putting philosophy into practice is hard at first, to unlearn bad habits and replace them with good ones, but with diligence and persistence, it becomes easier with time. A woman who is introduced to philosophy and trained in the same way will be equally capable and can achieve the same results.
With philosophy, you also understand that death and hardship are not evils. And with this understanding, what is there left to fear? It gives you courage, the type of boldness that you need when you inevitably run into problems and resistance trying to effect positive change in your world. You need to be able to outwit and outcompete enemies who would block your way and possibly harm others for their own benefit. You must be convincing enough to guide people toward a better place and away from trouble. As such, there is nothing more convincing than your consistent proper conduct and the good fruits provided from your labor -- all possible because of philosophy.
If one is a philosopher and therefore a good person, that person is by default a leader, an example worth following. A doctor is still a doctor if he only treats one patient instead of one thousand patients. A musician is still a musician if he performs in front of an audience of only one person and not one thousand people. A horse trainer is still a horse trainer if he trains only one horse rather than one thousand horses. Likewise, an individual who can lead one troubled person to improvement has the ability to show people the right way and thus is a competent leader. If he doesn't lead an entire nation, it is not because he isn't capable but because he simply does not have the opportunity.
Even if you don't want to lead, Epictetus, you can still use philosophy to improve yourself. Since you have acquired that capability, which is required for leadership, you are always ready when needed. Then once you feel the sense of duty to serve, you can fulfill that need. In my opinion, this is why Socrates said that philosophy is appropriate for either a king or a citizen, because that king would be a proper king and that citizen would be a proper citizen. Both would have good character, good knowledge, and done good works. They can serve as good role models for others to follow, and therefore can make inspiring, effective, and benevolent leaders.
"Do not tell people what they should do when you do what you should not." Musonius